Track & Field Taught Me To Push Through My Anxiety
Track and field exists all over the world, and is arguably the biggest sport at the Olympics every four years. It is the quintessential test of athleticism, and the best athletes on earth compete on the global stage. Non- track fans will tune in for the biggest events because of the excitement surrounding them. Having competed in track & field form the time I was 10 years old, I have a lot of experience being around the sport. As a multi-sport athlete my whole high school career, track and field taught me more than Basketball or Soccer and provided me with life skills that I did not discover I had until a few years down the road.
What is so different about Track?
Track differs from other sports because you are competing against yourself. There’s not much rivalry between athletes because realistically, everyone wants to just set a new personal record ( winning a race is great too, though). It is just you and the track. Meets take ALL day usually, as I would spend my entire weekends walking around, meeting athletes from other schools, and watching teammates compete. Being forced to be there all day, you spend time with most other runners on your team, and you collectively bond over the anxiety and pain of giving it your all on the track.
As a sprinter and jumper, I competed for a whopping total of about 90 seconds each meet, while some of my closest friends on the team would run the mile, 2 mile or 800 Meters. They were jealous of my role to say the least. This meant I was spending hours and hours each weekend anxiously waiting for my quick events that had no room for error.
The Anxiety was a weekly battle.
I grew up always experiencing anxiety. Probably more than normal amounts. Everything worried me as a kid, and that continued as I grew up. During track meets, I was always Anxiety ridden right up until the sound of the gun. I couldn’t relax until I was done with all my events. The thought of walking up to the line with everyone watching me, other athletes who were bigger than me lining up to my side, taking a practice start off the line, all made me worried. What if something goes wrong? What if I get hurt?
Even if these negative thoughts were not on my mind, I would experience pretty extreme butterflies. Experiencing all this sucked if I am being totally honest. But I was fast. Like the fastest on the team and the best Long Jumper. Also, I loved winning and was a competitor at the same time, so I stuck with it. I ran indoor and outdoor track all 4 years of high school, and it disciplined me to control my anxiety.
There are a few tactics I developed during my time competing.
- Get comfortable in the uncomfortable.
This may come across as pretty cliché, but forcing yourself into gut-wrenching, anxiety-ridden situations is beneficial. No matter what you do, the more you do it, the easier it gets. I would practice getting faster and jumping further everyday, and as time went on the events got easier and my times improved. The same goes for the anxiety that comes along with it. My next tactic involved the common feelings after the meet was over.
2. No matter what, life goes on, and none of it really mattered.
This may sound negative, but it helped me. I made up these scenarios in my head and only psyched myself out unnecessarily. In reality, everyone there probably had similar thoughts, and I was literally one in a thousand runners at a meet. People are naturally self-centered to a degree, and no one was intently analyzing me like I do to myself. After every meet, we would get on the bus and go back home, and I would feel accomplished. So why even worry? As I got older, I realized every bout of worrisome angst ended in the same thing: a big smile after finishing and getting better. This led me to be able to “turn off” that voice in the back of my head.
3. It is easier to suffer collectively, rather than alone.
Like I mentioned previously, my teammates and I bonded over the physical pain and exhaustion we experienced during our events, and the anxiety we suffered through together during warmups and at the starting lines. If someone is going through the same thing as you, it makes it easier. The reassurance of not being alone in your suffering really does make it easy to persevere.
4. Find an outlet.
This one is the most important in my mind. The anxiety would creep up to me about an hour before my race, when warmups had begun. It would steadily build and build until I would step on the starting line with dry mouth, my heart racing, but crystal clear focus. Putting my fingers right before that starting line, kneeling into the blocks, and taking a deep exhale; it had become routine after a while. Oddly enough, this is when the anxiety faded. I had done everything necessary to prepare for the race, and I would look forward and see nothing but a straightaway for me to sprint down, as I had practiced thousands of times.
The outlet for me was giving it my all for 10 or 25 seconds, and exhausting myself on the track. In the heat of the moment, there was no room for anxiety. I had to be clicking mentally and physically, focused on keeping my form and trying to get a new PR. All the bottled up anxiety would get shaken up and explode once that race started, and would fade away until the start of my next race.
Track and Field was amazing for my mental health. I am always going to live with anxiety, but the sport forced me to teach myself valuable lessons about keeping anxiety under control. I believe I am naturally more able to live outside my comfort zone because of those years being forced to undergo intense anxiety and overcome it each week.
Did I enjoy the pre-race jitters and feelings of angst? Hell no. Was it worth it? Most definitely.
